Marvel Zombies 5

Alright, this is the last of the numbered “Marvel Zombies” series. There are three other comics from the series I will have to review, though. Last time, Werewolf by Night was infected and now three people are sent out to cure him. Find out who now.

Issue #1 begins in an alternate world’s old west. There a girl, Jackie, is trying to get to her father, the villain Hurricane. Zombies begin to attack and Hurricane is killed fighting them. Before he dies he passes his superspeed power to Jackie. She fights the zombies and is about to be killed when Machine Man arrives, with a partner, Howard the Duck. They take a sample of the zombie and prepare to leave when Jackie asks to go with them. They accept her and head into the Planestorm, where they arrive on a world where War of the Worlds actually happened, ending the issue.

Morbius seems to have aged 20 years since I last saw him

Issue #2 begins with Howard the Duck telling us that Machine Man has been different because Jocasta left him for her ex, Ultron. In this world they meet three freedom fighters, Killraven, Old Skull, and M’Shulla. Killraven uses his power of mind control to get one of the Martians to infect the people in the Martian breeding centers. The virus’s rapid spread causes all the Martians to leave the Earth. The issue ends with Machine Man fusing with one of those cool Martian robots with the saucer looking head. Issue #3 takes place in some old English medieval world. The Black Knight causes a zombie outbreak using a book and the heroes destroy the book, end of issue. That’s about it for that story.

Issue #4 takes place in a parody of a sci-fi future. The virus comes from people downloading a video service to watch some soap opera sounding show. The most important thing that happens is that the person spreading this virus is an alternate Jocast and her bodyguard Arno Stark, Tony’s dad I think. Machine Man kills them both and we move on to the last issue. Oh boy, this issue. Issue #5 takes place on our Earth and begins with a nerd stereotype, named Wendell at a comic book store. He’s buying Marvel Zombies 5 and complains that Kirkman was better (he was.)

This is Van Lente's justification to kill some random guy: He doesn't like his book.

He leaves the store and goes home, where he has a package there for him. He opens it up and is blasted by the zombie virus. He slowly turns into a zombie, with only his parrot, Lockheed, who speaks in Yoda talk, around with him. He prepares to kill himself when he hears a scream that he assumes is someone in trouble. He prepares to go save them, dressed like a bunch of Marvel characters, when Machine Man and Howard bust in. Wendell has been struck by rigor mortis, but is still alive. They take the sample from him, and kill him saying “Die, nerd” as they do it. The issue ends with Machine Man opening up every plot hole in the Marvel Zombies series, and then just basically saying we should stop complaining and just enjoy the story.

This is just a terrible issue all around. They make this stereotype character, who even admits to being a stereotype, make you feel bad for him in his narration captions, and then just kill him. I guess he expects us to hate/laugh at him because he’s a nerd, but they make him sympathetic by wanting to help people, being selfless in wanting to stop the virus by killing himself, and even having enough control to let Lockheed go. And the part at the end about the plot holes is just childish, this is the most petty book I’ve ever read.

Plot: The plot is just nothing but an excuse to get these characters from one place to another. Any reasoning for this can be easily written out and ignored, which is just bad.

Characters: Howard and Machine are actually still funny and are the highlight of this. Jackie is a alright mother figure to the group, and I wish she could be in the mainstream world.

Action: There’s some action, but it doesn’t really matter. I don’t know how much I can say it’s bloody and gory.

Art: The reason I kind of skimmed over issue #4 was the horrible art. It’s scratchy and overly inked. Machine Man looks like Reagan for some reason. The issues are just average at best.

Ending: Horrible ending, needlessly cruel and childish.

Final Thoughts: I hate this book. The first couple issues are just boring and have nothing really special. That last one though, is just a travesty. You basically watch someone as they are about to die, and Van Lente just expects you to be laughing. I had high hopes because of Machine Man’s return, but his charm has worn off. Howard the Duck is just random, and is probably here just for another joke in the last issue. All of that said, this book is just one heaping pile of Rubbish.

Rating: Rubbish


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